The sun sets after a pleasurable happy hour at the Chainsaw Bar & Grille.

I decide to hunt moose tracks in what remains of the snow deep in the woods, but make a much more rare and magnificent find. This, for you lay readers, is undoubtedly a print of the Mighty Jake. A basement-dwelling mammal, the Mighty Jake is rarely seen in daylight. When he does appear, you can see him but he will not necessarily see you as his eyes are often covered with a shock of brown hair. Like his ancestors, he stays up all night long doing God-knows-what, then spends the day sleeping or simply spread out on the couch. If I'm fortunate enough to encounter him in the flesh, I'll say hello for all of my faithful followers.