That there is Jack in the Pulpit. I once thought of being a preacher, seeing as how in addition to pontificating to a captive audience you get free housing. Problem is, I can't sing. Can you imagine the embarrassment of not being able to carry a tune during all those hymns? So it was just one more dream denied, because back when I was in 8th grade I dreamed of being a Broadway star (odd since I seriously detest show tunes). What happened was I got cast in the lead role of the I.S. 61 production of Grease. That's right, I was Danny Zuko. Problem was that you didn't have to sing at the audition, so the drama teacher had no idea that I'm basically tone deaf. I guess my permanent record wasn't forwarded from P.S. 40 where I was literally the only child not accepted into chorus. Well, anyway, it took about one rehearsal for Mrs. Bochetti to realize that I might kill some audience members via my many solos. Her ingenious solution was to have the rest of the kids sing incredibly loudly along with my so-called solos. But of course this didn't completely solve the problem. No, she had to pull out the big guns. Sadly, it wasn't until adulthood that I realized it wasn't just a coincidence that I had the only malfunctioning microphone.